terfikir

think back~why do i choose SAM instead of PASUM? why do i choose SAM instead of Matrik? Why do i choose to study overseas instead of Malaysia? Is it my decision or parents'? Am i good enough to be called MARA scholar? Am i even gonna survive this foundation studies i'm doing?

All these questions, i am sure that i am not very sure with the answers.

but its too late to regret isnt it? is it? is it too late? after doing 1 semester, with another 2 semesters ahead, can i turn back time? can i have more time to think and make the right decision for ME?

these questions however are bull shit, coz i already know the answer.

mama once said "kalau adik pilih matrik xde lah presure2 nak kejar target MARA, rilex je blaja macam abg dulu" "making the RIGHT decision now, can change everything" "scholarship MARA ni bukan senang nak dapat, and this would be the BEST option right now"

you see where mama is going? manipulating, i've no idea what shes telling back then. but i've decided. i choose to do SAM as in MARA scholar. i've been survey-ing around and concluding it myself.

cgu noni once said "belaja mane ade senang, sbb blaja tu buat benda yg kita tak tawu"

sebab tu lah, a little bit regret of choosing to be doing this SAM thingy at first, but now i'm all cleared up. i want to do this. coz i want to try different system of learning other than Malaysia's and in my case i choose Australia's. i want to get use of being away from my family, for my own sake in the future. i want to travel to other country and stay there to learn their culture and lifestyle. i want to learn to be MORE independent than before, managing my own life without mama around. masak, basuh baju, and xde krete (oh my) and i will make it to the end and success. MALAYSIA BOLEH, NABILA BOLEH!


this post is posted simply because i doubted my decision earlier. and because i am so stressed out with my studies right now, it is slightly HARDER day by day man. arghhhhhhhh!! damn it. pressure gilaaaa skrang ni. byk faktor. so fuck off faktor!! leave me alone with my studies and otak.i dare my otak to face it! huh! Ya Allah~permudah kan lah studies ku......amin~